I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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