I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
