So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
