idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
