yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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