This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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