i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
