he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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