My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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