Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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