I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
