So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
