it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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