4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
