The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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