Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
