So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
