you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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