She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
