bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
