My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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