this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
