HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
