i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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