Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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