He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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