yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
