My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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