you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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