i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
