i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
handjob tips. give me some.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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