That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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