just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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