you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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