I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
