I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
