I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
