I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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