If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
