just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
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It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
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I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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