I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
