I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I believe in your delicious
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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