I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
