Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
They have beer where we have blood.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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