Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
