Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
