So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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