i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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