I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
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I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
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At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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