Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize