i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
