I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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