lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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