I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
