just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
