I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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