For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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