I CAN MOONWALK!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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