..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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