I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I believe in your delicious
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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