I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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