Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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