I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize