if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
