Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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