I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
