but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
